Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize