what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
