Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
