Four minutes until I can fart!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
