8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
