Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
