There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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