Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
