All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
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