I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize