Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Ladies don't puke and tell
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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