i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
