dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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