paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
