Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
