I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm jealous of your bromance
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
