dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
