I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
