It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
