Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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