census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
