Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Randomize
