You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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