i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
