i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Can Purell be used as lube?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize