my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you would pick up someone in the library
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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