i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
