highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Semen is not good for contacts.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
