AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
