Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
