This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
