she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
