i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
