IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
