Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
