We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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