He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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