Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
