My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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