So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
