my mouth tastes like poor choices
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
