I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He felt like a one man threesome
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
