So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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