the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
