We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
