Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize