hotel room ftw
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
