He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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