So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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