i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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