You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
