guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he was CRYING into my vagina
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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