He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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