when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
