Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We need a shit load of segways right now
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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