I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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