I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
