Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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