TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
