I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
