she sounds like chewbacca in bed
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
